A Work of Art

I tried to write a work of art
With all my passion, all my heart,
But no idea of what to say
Or what I wanted to convey;
My plans were doomed, and fell apart.

It really wasn't very smart
To take this trek without a chart:
Spontaneous writing's fine for play
But one cannot make art that way,
I should have realized from the start.

- gjd

George J. Dance wrote:
>
> A Work of Art

> I tried to write a work of art
> With all my passion, all my heart,
> But no idea of what to say
> Or what I wanted to convey;
> My plans were doomed, and fell apart.

> It really wasn't very smart
> To take this trek without a chart:
> Spontaneous writing's fine for play
> But one cannot make art that way,
> I should have realized from the start.

> - gjd

Quite an excellent short poem....

On Tuesday, June 21, 2022 at 8:31:50 PM UTC, george...@yahoo.ca wrote:
> A Work of Art
>
> I tried to write a work of art
> With all my passion, all my heart,
> But no idea of what to say
> Or what I wanted to convey;
> My plans were doomed, and fell apart.
>
> It really wasn't very smart
> To take this trek without a chart:
> Spontaneous writing's fine for play
> But one cannot make art that way,
> I should have realized from the start.
>
> - gjd
George Dance, your poem breaks down in the last line. "I should have realized from the start" just does not fit with the meter you have established. A suggestion would be "I should have known [also "seen" is a possibility] that from the start," which would put the proper stress on "known."

On Wednesday, June 22, 2022 at 7:15:19 AM UTC+10, vhug...@gmail.com wrote:
> George J. Dance wrote:
> >
> > A Work of Art
>
> > I tried to write a work of art
> > With all my passion, all my heart,
> > But no idea of what to say
> > Or what I wanted to convey;
> > My plans were doomed, and fell apart.
>
> > It really wasn't very smart
> > To take this trek without a chart:
> > Spontaneous writing's fine for play
> > But one cannot make art that way,
> > I should have realized from the start.
>
> > - gjd
> Quite an excellent short poem....

Yes, definitely.

On Tuesday, June 21, 2022 at 4:31:50 PM UTC-4, george...@yahoo.ca wrote:
> A Work of Art
>
> I tried to write a work of art
> With all my passion, all my heart,
> But no idea of what to say
> Or what I wanted to convey;
> My plans were doomed, and fell apart.
>
> It really wasn't very smart
> To take this trek without a chart:
> Spontaneous writing's fine for play
> But one cannot make art that way,
> I should have realized from the start.
>
> - gjd

In the penultimate line, “that way” should read
‘this way’ to maintain agreement with “this trek”,
and I agree with NG’s suggestion for the final line.

On Wednesday, June 22, 2022 at 5:27:36 AM UTC-4, HC wrote:
> On Tuesday, June 21, 2022 at 4:31:50 PM UTC-4, george...@yahoo.ca wrote:
> > A Work of Art
> >
> > I tried to write a work of art
> > With all my passion, all my heart,
> > But no idea of what to say
> > Or what I wanted to convey;
> > My plans were doomed, and fell apart.
> >
> > It really wasn't very smart
> > To take this trek without a chart:
> > Spontaneous writing's fine for play
> > But one cannot make art that way,
> > I should have realized from the start.
> >
> > - gjd
> In the penultimate line, “that way” should read
> ‘this way’ to maintain agreement with “this trek”,
> and I agree with NG’s suggestion for the final line.

IMO the "that" is part of a separate thought: "Spontaneous writing's fine for play, but one cannot make art that way."

I would keep "that" in; as "this way" makes the statement relate specifically to the speaker's trek (attempt); whereas "that way" makes the statement read more like a universal truism.

Speaking of "trek," I would lose it altogether. As a metaphor, it doesn't really apply to such a short poem. It this were an epic, "trek" would work perfectly... but here it just feels odd.

And, of course, I agree with NancyGene's thoughts on strengthening the final line.

***
Content-wise, I have to voice my profound disagreement. I believe that art is created by the spontaneous approach, as this (theoretically) puts the writer in direct contact with his subconscious -- thereby partaking of both the symbolic content of the subconscious and the mythmaking archetypes of the unconscious.

Writing poetry from a preconceived plan tends to create formulaic, uninspired work that slavishly adheres to formality and offers little of interest.

On Wednesday, June 22, 2022 at 8:52:39 AM UTC-4, michaelmalef...@gmail.com wrote:
> On Wednesday, June 22, 2022 at 5:27:36 AM UTC-4, HC wrote:
> > On Tuesday, June 21, 2022 at 4:31:50 PM UTC-4, george...@yahoo.ca wrote:
> > > A Work of Art
> > >
> > > I tried to write a work of art
> > > With all my passion, all my heart,
> > > But no idea of what to say
> > > Or what I wanted to convey;
> > > My plans were doomed, and fell apart.
> > >
> > > It really wasn't very smart
> > > To take this trek without a chart:
> > > Spontaneous writing's fine for play
> > > But one cannot make art that way,
> > > I should have realized from the start.
> > >
> > > - gjd
> > In the penultimate line, “that way” should read
> > ‘this way’ to maintain agreement with “this trek”,
> > and I agree with NG’s suggestion for the final line.
> IMO the "that" is part of a separate thought: "Spontaneous writing's fine for play, but one cannot make art that way."
>
> I would keep "that" in; as "this way" makes the statement relate specifically to the speaker's trek (attempt); whereas "that way" makes the statement read more like a universal truism.
>
> Speaking of "trek," I would lose it altogether. As a metaphor, it doesn't really apply to such a short poem. It this were an epic, "trek" would work perfectly... but here it just feels odd.
>
> And, of course, I agree with NancyGene's thoughts on strengthening the final line.
>
> ***
> Content-wise, I have to voice my profound disagreement. I believe that art is created by the spontaneous approach, as this (theoretically) puts the writer in direct contact with his subconscious -- thereby partaking of both the symbolic content of the subconscious and the mythmaking archetypes of the unconscious.
>
> Writing poetry from a preconceived plan tends to create formulaic, uninspired work that slavishly adheres to formality and offers little of interest..

The colon rather than a period at the end of the previous line,
and the premise of the poem, suggests that the whole stanza
is one fluid thought, rather than a separation of different thoughts.
Content-wise, I enjoyed it, and whatever I may or may not believe
about art didn't diminish my appreciation. This was a fun read.

On Tuesday, June 21, 2022 at 4:31:50 PM UTC-4, george...@yahoo.ca wrote:
> A Work of Art
>
> I tried to write a work of art
> With all my passion, all my heart,
> But no idea of what to say
> Or what I wanted to convey;
> My plans were doomed, and fell apart.
>
> It really wasn't very smart
> To take this trek without a chart:
> Spontaneous writing's fine for play
> But one cannot make art that way,
> I should have realized from the start.
>
> - gjd

I cannot make a work of art,
because I’m simply not that smart.
I know what I would like to say,
but nothing comes out the right way.
My book won’t sell at the Walmart.

On Wednesday, June 22, 2022 at 12:00:08 AM UTC-4, ibsh...@gmail.com wrote:
> On Wednesday, June 22, 2022 at 7:15:19 AM UTC+10, vhug...@gmail.com wrote:
> > George J. Dance wrote:
> > >
> > > A Work of Art
> >
> > > I tried to write a work of art
> > > With all my passion, all my heart,
> > > But no idea of what to say
> > > Or what I wanted to convey;
> > > My plans were doomed, and fell apart.
> >
> > > It really wasn't very smart
> > > To take this trek without a chart:
> > > Spontaneous writing's fine for play
> > > But one cannot make art that way,
> > > I should have realized from the start.
> >
> > > - gjd
> > Quite an excellent short poem....
> Yes, definitely.

Agreed and seconded.

🙂

On Wednesday, June 22, 2022 at 1:09:48 PM UTC, HC wrote:
> On Wednesday, June 22, 2022 at 8:52:39 AM UTC-4, michaelmalef...@gmail.com wrote:
> > On Wednesday, June 22, 2022 at 5:27:36 AM UTC-4, HC wrote:
> > > On Tuesday, June 21, 2022 at 4:31:50 PM UTC-4, george...@yahoo.ca wrote:
> > > > A Work of Art
> > > >
> > > > I tried to write a work of art
> > > > With all my passion, all my heart,
> > > > But no idea of what to say
> > > > Or what I wanted to convey;
> > > > My plans were doomed, and fell apart.
> > > >
> > > > It really wasn't very smart
> > > > To take this trek without a chart:
> > > > Spontaneous writing's fine for play
> > > > But one cannot make art that way,
> > > > I should have realized from the start.
> > > >
> > > > - gjd
> > > In the penultimate line, “that way” should read
> > > ‘this way’ to maintain agreement with “this trek”,
> > > and I agree with NG’s suggestion for the final line.
> > IMO the "that" is part of a separate thought: "Spontaneous writing's fine for play, but one cannot make art that way."
> >
> > I would keep "that" in; as "this way" makes the statement relate specifically to the speaker's trek (attempt); whereas "that way" makes the statement read more like a universal truism.

We agree with the "that," since it is in the past. While we are dissecting the poem, we think that the third line in the first stanza needs a "with" before the "no," although the line would have to be reworked. Alternately, it could just start with "With." We disagree with the semi-colon at the end of the 4th line, first stanza. If George Dance were to put a period at the end of the second line, start the third line with "With," then put a comma at the end of the penultimate line in the first stanza, it would read better. Also, no comma between "doomed" and "and."
> >
> > Speaking of "trek," I would lose it altogether. As a metaphor, it doesn't really apply to such a short poem. It this were an epic, "trek" would work perfectly... but here it just feels odd.

It brings images of "Star Trek." Is writing a work of art a "trek?" Maybe a journey or path? However, "chart" brings thoughts of celestial navigation, since the author does not say "map." Is writing a voyage?

> >
> > And, of course, I agree with NancyGene's thoughts on strengthening the final line.
It just does not fit when the poem is read aloud.
> >
> > ***
> > Content-wise, I have to voice my profound disagreement. I believe that art is created by the spontaneous approach, as this (theoretically) puts the writer in direct contact with his subconscious -- thereby partaking of both the symbolic content of the subconscious and the mythmaking archetypes of the unconscious.
Poems by computer.
> >
> > Writing poetry from a preconceived plan tends to create formulaic, uninspired work that slavishly adheres to formality and offers little of interest.
There has to be a spark, an inspiration, that starts the poem flowing in the poet's mind.

> The colon rather than a period at the end of the previous line,
> and the premise of the poem, suggests that the whole stanza
> is one fluid thought, rather than a separation of different thoughts.
> Content-wise, I enjoyed it, and whatever I may or may not believe
> about art didn't diminish my appreciation. This was a fun read.
It just needs some reworking in the details.

On Wednesday, June 22, 2022 at 1:54:47 PM UTC-4, NancyGene wrote:
> On Wednesday, June 22, 2022 at 1:09:48 PM UTC, HC wrote:
> > On Wednesday, June 22, 2022 at 8:52:39 AM UTC-4, michaelmalef...@gmail.com wrote:
> > > On Wednesday, June 22, 2022 at 5:27:36 AM UTC-4, HC wrote:
> > > > On Tuesday, June 21, 2022 at 4:31:50 PM UTC-4, george...@yahoo.ca wrote:
> > > > > A Work of Art
> > > > >
> > > > > I tried to write a work of art
> > > > > With all my passion, all my heart,
> > > > > But no idea of what to say
> > > > > Or what I wanted to convey;
> > > > > My plans were doomed, and fell apart.
> > > > >
> > > > > It really wasn't very smart
> > > > > To take this trek without a chart:
> > > > > Spontaneous writing's fine for play
> > > > > But one cannot make art that way,
> > > > > I should have realized from the start.
> > > > >
> > > > > - gjd
> > > > In the penultimate line, “that way” should read
> > > > ‘this way’ to maintain agreement with “this trek”,
> > > > and I agree with NG’s suggestion for the final line.
> > > IMO the "that" is part of a separate thought: "Spontaneous writing's fine for play, but one cannot make art that way."
> > >
> > > I would keep "that" in; as "this way" makes the statement relate specifically to the speaker's trek (attempt); whereas "that way" makes the statement read more like a universal truism.
> We agree with the "that," since it is in the past. While we are dissecting the poem, we think that the third line in the first stanza needs a "with" before the "no," although the line would have to be reworked. Alternately, it could just start with "With." We disagree with the semi-colon at the end of the 4th line, first stanza. If George Dance were to put a period at the end of the second line, start the third line with "With," then put a comma at the end of the penultimate line in the first stanza, it would read better. Also, no comma between "doomed" and "and."
> > >
> > > Speaking of "trek," I would lose it altogether. As a metaphor, it doesn't really apply to such a short poem. It this were an epic, "trek" would work perfectly... but here it just feels odd.
> It brings images of "Star Trek." Is writing a work of art a "trek?" Maybe a journey or path? However, "chart" brings thoughts of celestial navigation, since the author does not say "map." Is writing a voyage?
> > >
> > > And, of course, I agree with NancyGene's thoughts on strengthening the final line.
> It just does not fit when the poem is read aloud.
> > >
> > > ***
> > > Content-wise, I have to voice my profound disagreement. I believe that art is created by the spontaneous approach, as this (theoretically) puts the writer in direct contact with his subconscious -- thereby partaking of both the symbolic content of the subconscious and the mythmaking archetypes of the unconscious.
> Poems by computer.
> > >
> > > Writing poetry from a preconceived plan tends to create formulaic, uninspired work that slavishly adheres to formality and offers little of interest.
> There has to be a spark, an inspiration, that starts the poem flowing in the poet's mind.
> > The colon rather than a period at the end of the previous line,
> > and the premise of the poem, suggests that the whole stanza
> > is one fluid thought, rather than a separation of different thoughts.
> > Content-wise, I enjoyed it, and whatever I may or may not believe
> > about art didn't diminish my appreciation. This was a fun read.
> It just needs some reworking in the details.

I’d like to see something other than but, but disagree with beginning line three with with,
because line two already starts with with, and starting both lines two and three with with
would look worse than with but, but I can’t think of a better suggestion to replace but with.

On Wednesday, June 22, 2022 at 6:22:11 PM UTC, HC wrote:
> On Wednesday, June 22, 2022 at 1:54:47 PM UTC-4, NancyGene wrote:
> > On Wednesday, June 22, 2022 at 1:09:48 PM UTC, HC wrote:
> > > On Wednesday, June 22, 2022 at 8:52:39 AM UTC-4, michaelmalef...@gmail.com wrote:
> > > > On Wednesday, June 22, 2022 at 5:27:36 AM UTC-4, HC wrote:
> > > > > On Tuesday, June 21, 2022 at 4:31:50 PM UTC-4, george...@yahoo.ca wrote:
> > > > > > A Work of Art
> > > > > >
> > > > > > I tried to write a work of art
> > > > > > With all my passion, all my heart,
> > > > > > But no idea of what to say
> > > > > > Or what I wanted to convey;
> > > > > > My plans were doomed, and fell apart.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > It really wasn't very smart
> > > > > > To take this trek without a chart:
> > > > > > Spontaneous writing's fine for play
> > > > > > But one cannot make art that way,
> > > > > > I should have realized from the start.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > - gjd
> > > > > In the penultimate line, “that way” should read
> > > > > ‘this way’ to maintain agreement with “this trek”,
> > > > > and I agree with NG’s suggestion for the final line.
> > > > IMO the "that" is part of a separate thought: "Spontaneous writing's fine for play, but one cannot make art that way."
> > > >
> > > > I would keep "that" in; as "this way" makes the statement relate specifically to the speaker's trek (attempt); whereas "that way" makes the statement read more like a universal truism.
> > We agree with the "that," since it is in the past. While we are dissecting the poem, we think that the third line in the first stanza needs a "with" before the "no," although the line would have to be reworked. Alternately, it could just start with "With." We disagree with the semi-colon at the end of the 4th line, first stanza. If George Dance were to put a period at the end of the second line, start the third line with "With," then put a comma at the end of the penultimate line in the first stanza, it would read better. Also, no comma between "doomed" and "and."
> > > >
> > > > Speaking of "trek," I would lose it altogether. As a metaphor, it doesn't really apply to such a short poem. It this were an epic, "trek" would work perfectly... but here it just feels odd.
> > It brings images of "Star Trek." Is writing a work of art a "trek?" Maybe a journey or path? However, "chart" brings thoughts of celestial navigation, since the author does not say "map." Is writing a voyage?
> > > >
> > > > And, of course, I agree with NancyGene's thoughts on strengthening the final line.
> > It just does not fit when the poem is read aloud.
> > > >
> > > > ***
> > > > Content-wise, I have to voice my profound disagreement. I believe that art is created by the spontaneous approach, as this (theoretically) puts the writer in direct contact with his subconscious -- thereby partaking of both the symbolic content of the subconscious and the mythmaking archetypes of the unconscious.
> > Poems by computer.
> > > >
> > > > Writing poetry from a preconceived plan tends to create formulaic, uninspired work that slavishly adheres to formality and offers little of interest.
> > There has to be a spark, an inspiration, that starts the poem flowing in the poet's mind.
> > > The colon rather than a period at the end of the previous line,
> > > and the premise of the poem, suggests that the whole stanza
> > > is one fluid thought, rather than a separation of different thoughts.
> > > Content-wise, I enjoyed it, and whatever I may or may not believe
> > > about art didn't diminish my appreciation. This was a fun read.
> > It just needs some reworking in the details.
> I’d like to see something other than but, but disagree with beginning line three with with,
> because line two already starts with with, and starting both lines two and three with with
> would look worse than with but, but I can’t think of a better suggestion to replace but with.
Maybe "Stirred all my passion" instead of "With all my passion?" That frees "with" for the next line.

On Wednesday, June 22, 2022 at 2:43:02 PM UTC-4, NancyGene wrote:
> On Wednesday, June 22, 2022 at 6:22:11 PM UTC, HC wrote:
> > On Wednesday, June 22, 2022 at 1:54:47 PM UTC-4, NancyGene wrote:
> > > On Wednesday, June 22, 2022 at 1:09:48 PM UTC, HC wrote:
> > > > On Wednesday, June 22, 2022 at 8:52:39 AM UTC-4, michaelmalef...@gmail.com wrote:
> > > > > On Wednesday, June 22, 2022 at 5:27:36 AM UTC-4, HC wrote:
> > > > > > On Tuesday, June 21, 2022 at 4:31:50 PM UTC-4, george...@yahoo.ca wrote:
> > > > > > > A Work of Art
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > I tried to write a work of art
> > > > > > > With all my passion, all my heart,
> > > > > > > But no idea of what to say
> > > > > > > Or what I wanted to convey;
> > > > > > > My plans were doomed, and fell apart.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > It really wasn't very smart
> > > > > > > To take this trek without a chart:
> > > > > > > Spontaneous writing's fine for play
> > > > > > > But one cannot make art that way,
> > > > > > > I should have realized from the start.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > - gjd
> > > > > > In the penultimate line, “that way” should read
> > > > > > ‘this way’ to maintain agreement with “this trek”,
> > > > > > and I agree with NG’s suggestion for the final line.
> > > > > IMO the "that" is part of a separate thought: "Spontaneous writing's fine for play, but one cannot make art that way."
> > > > >
> > > > > I would keep "that" in; as "this way" makes the statement relate specifically to the speaker's trek (attempt); whereas "that way" makes the statement read more like a universal truism.
> > > We agree with the "that," since it is in the past. While we are dissecting the poem, we think that the third line in the first stanza needs a "with" before the "no," although the line would have to be reworked. Alternately, it could just start with "With." We disagree with the semi-colon at the end of the 4th line, first stanza. If George Dance were to put a period at the end of the second line, start the third line with "With," then put a comma at the end of the penultimate line in the first stanza, it would read better. Also, no comma between "doomed" and "and."
> > > > >
> > > > > Speaking of "trek," I would lose it altogether. As a metaphor, it doesn't really apply to such a short poem. It this were an epic, "trek" would work perfectly... but here it just feels odd.
> > > It brings images of "Star Trek." Is writing a work of art a "trek?" Maybe a journey or path? However, "chart" brings thoughts of celestial navigation, since the author does not say "map." Is writing a voyage?
> > > > >
> > > > > And, of course, I agree with NancyGene's thoughts on strengthening the final line.
> > > It just does not fit when the poem is read aloud.
> > > > >
> > > > > ***
> > > > > Content-wise, I have to voice my profound disagreement. I believe that art is created by the spontaneous approach, as this (theoretically) puts the writer in direct contact with his subconscious -- thereby partaking of both the symbolic content of the subconscious and the mythmaking archetypes of the unconscious.
> > > Poems by computer.
> > > > >
> > > > > Writing poetry from a preconceived plan tends to create formulaic, uninspired work that slavishly adheres to formality and offers little of interest.
> > > There has to be a spark, an inspiration, that starts the poem flowing in the poet's mind.
> > > > The colon rather than a period at the end of the previous line,
> > > > and the premise of the poem, suggests that the whole stanza
> > > > is one fluid thought, rather than a separation of different thoughts.
> > > > Content-wise, I enjoyed it, and whatever I may or may not believe
> > > > about art didn't diminish my appreciation. This was a fun read.
> > > It just needs some reworking in the details.
> > I’d like to see something other than but, but disagree with beginning line three with with,
> > because line two already starts with with, and starting both lines two and three with with
> > would look worse than with but, but I can’t think of a better suggestion to replace but with.
> Maybe "Stirred all my passion" instead of "With all my passion?" That frees "with" for the next line.

“I tried to write this work of art,
put to pen my passionate heart
with no idea of how to say
what all I wanted to convey.
My plan was doomed, and fell apart.”

“It really wasn't very smart
to make this trek without a chart:
Spontaneous writing's fine for play,
but one cannot make art this way.
I should have known that from the start.”

On Wednesday, June 22, 2022 at 12:00:08 AM UTC-4, ibsh...@gmail.com wrote:
> On Wednesday, June 22, 2022 at 7:15:19 AM UTC+10, vhug...@gmail.com wrote:
> > George J. Dance wrote:
> > >
> > > A Work of Art
> >
> > > I tried to write a work of art
> > > With all my passion, all my heart,
> > > But no idea of what to say
> > > Or what I wanted to convey;
> > > My plans were doomed, and fell apart.
> >
> > > It really wasn't very smart
> > > To take this trek without a chart:
> > > Spontaneous writing's fine for play
> > > But one cannot make art that way,
> > > I should have realized from the start.
> >
> > > - gjd
> > Quite an excellent short poem....
> Yes, definitely.

Seconded.

Ilya Shambat wrote:

> On Wednesday, June 22, 2022 at 7:15:19 AM UTC+10, vhug...@gmail.com wrote:
>> George J. Dance wrote:
>> >
>> > A Work of Art
>>
>> > I tried to write a work of art
>> > With all my passion, all my heart,
>> > But no idea of what to say
>> > Or what I wanted to convey;
>> > My plans were doomed, and fell apart.
>>
>> > It really wasn't very smart
>> > To take this trek without a chart:
>> > Spontaneous writing's fine for play
>> > But one cannot make art that way,
>> > I should have realized from the start.
>>
>> > - gjd
>> Quite an excellent short poem....

> Yes, definitely.

Quite right...!

On Tuesday, June 21, 2022 at 4:31:50 PM UTC-4, george...@yahoo.ca wrote:
> A Work of Art
>
> I tried to write a work of art
> With all my passion, all my heart,
> But no idea of what to say
> Or what I wanted to convey;
> My plans were doomed, and fell apart.
>
> It really wasn't very smart
> To take this trek without a chart:
> Spontaneous writing's fine for play
> But one cannot make art that way,
> I should have realized from the start.
>
> - gjd

“Quite an excellent short poem.... “
“Yes, definitely. “
“Agreed and seconded. “
“Seconded. “
“Quite right...! “

On Tuesday, June 21, 2022 at 6:16:19 PM UTC-4, NancyGene wrote:
> On Tuesday, June 21, 2022 at 8:31:50 PM UTC, george...@yahoo.ca wrote:
>
> > A Work of Art
> >
> > I tried to write a work of art
> > With all my passion, all my heart,
> > But no idea of what to say
> > Or what I wanted to convey;
> > My plans were doomed, and fell apart.
> >
> > It really wasn't very smart
> > To take this trek without a chart:
> > Spontaneous writing's fine for play
> > But one cannot make art that way,
> > I should have realized from the start.
> >
> > - gjd
> George Dance, your poem breaks down in the last line. "I should have realized from the start" just does not fit with the meter you have established. A suggestion would be "I should have known [also "seen" is a possibility] that from the start," which would put the proper stress on "known."

I'll grant you, it does fizzle out some near me end.

😟

On Thursday, June 23, 2022 at 9:21:24 AM UTC, Will Dockery wrote:

> I'll grant you, it does fizzle out some near me end.
>
Most things would die if they were near your rear end.

That said, why didn't you make that comment in the first place, instead of seconding that it was excellent? It isn't excellent and needs work. Did you read the poem?

On Thursday, June 23, 2022 at 6:18:20 AM UTC-4, NancyGene wrote:
> On Thursday, June 23, 2022 at 9:21:24 AM UTC, Will Dockery wrote:
>
> > I'll grant you, it does fizzle out some near me end.
> >
> Most things would die if they were near your rear end.
>
> That said, why didn't you make that comment in the first place, instead of seconding that it was excellent? It isn't excellent and needs work. Did you read the poem?

He didn’t say die. He specifically said “fizzle out”. Pay attention. Words matter.

On Thursday, June 23, 2022 at 6:54:41 AM UTC-4, HC wrote:
> On Thursday, June 23, 2022 at 6:18:20 AM UTC-4, NancyGene wrote:
> > On Thursday, June 23, 2022 at 9:21:24 AM UTC, Will Dockery wrote:
> >
> > > I'll grant you, it does fizzle out some near me end.
> > >
> > Most things would die if they were near your rear end.
> >
> > That said, why didn't you make that comment in the first place, instead of seconding that it was excellent? It isn't excellent and needs work. Did you read the poem?
> He didn’t say die. He specifically said “fizzle out”. Pay attention. Words matter.

Why don't you pay attention to what they said, they didn't say that OP said "die", "die" was directed at OP-- as you say, words matter...

On Thursday, June 23, 2022 at 7:19:59 AM UTC-4, Ash Wurthing wrote:
> On Thursday, June 23, 2022 at 6:54:41 AM UTC-4, HC wrote:
> > On Thursday, June 23, 2022 at 6:18:20 AM UTC-4, NancyGene wrote:
> > > On Thursday, June 23, 2022 at 9:21:24 AM UTC, Will Dockery wrote:
> > >
> > > > I'll grant you, it does fizzle out some near me end.
> > > >
> > > Most things would die if they were near your rear end.
> > >
> > > That said, why didn't you make that comment in the first place, instead of seconding that it was excellent? It isn't excellent and needs work. Did you read the poem?
> > He didn’t say die. He specifically said “fizzle out”. Pay attention. Words matter.
> Why don't you pay attention to what they said, they didn't say that OP said "die", "die" was directed at OP-- as you say, words matter...

Yes, I know. I did. I was trying to make an alternative point. Excuse me. My bad, again.

On Thursday, June 23, 2022 at 7:39:16 AM UTC-4, HC wrote:
> On Thursday, June 23, 2022 at 7:19:59 AM UTC-4, Ash Wurthing wrote:
> > On Thursday, June 23, 2022 at 6:54:41 AM UTC-4, HC wrote:
> > > On Thursday, June 23, 2022 at 6:18:20 AM UTC-4, NancyGene wrote:
> > > > On Thursday, June 23, 2022 at 9:21:24 AM UTC, Will Dockery wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > I'll grant you, it does fizzle out some near me end.
> > > > >
> > > > Most things would die if they were near your rear end.
> > > >
> > > > That said, why didn't you make that comment in the first place, instead of seconding that it was excellent? It isn't excellent and needs work. Did you read the poem?
> > > He didn’t say die. He specifically said “fizzle out”. Pay attention. Words matter.
> > Why don't you pay attention to what they said, they didn't say that OP said "die", "die" was directed at OP-- as you say, words matter...
> Yes, I know. I did. I was trying to make an alternative point. Excuse me. My bad, again.

as they say, it happens
as does grouchy, words can matter especially when they're taken badly

On Thursday, June 23, 2022 at 7:49:23 AM UTC-4, Ash Wurthing wrote:
> On Thursday, June 23, 2022 at 7:39:16 AM UTC-4, HC wrote:
> > On Thursday, June 23, 2022 at 7:19:59 AM UTC-4, Ash Wurthing wrote:
> > > On Thursday, June 23, 2022 at 6:54:41 AM UTC-4, HC wrote:
> > > > On Thursday, June 23, 2022 at 6:18:20 AM UTC-4, NancyGene wrote:
> > > > > On Thursday, June 23, 2022 at 9:21:24 AM UTC, Will Dockery wrote:
> > > > >
> > > > > > I'll grant you, it does fizzle out some near me end.
> > > > > >
> > > > > Most things would die if they were near your rear end.
> > > > >
> > > > > That said, why didn't you make that comment in the first place, instead of seconding that it was excellent? It isn't excellent and needs work. Did you read the poem?
> > > > He didn’t say die. He specifically said “fizzle out”. Pay attention. Words matter.
> > > Why don't you pay attention to what they said, they didn't say that OP said "die", "die" was directed at OP-- as you say, words matter...
> > Yes, I know. I did. I was trying to make an alternative point. Excuse me. My bad, again.
> as they say, it happens
> as does grouchy, words can matter especially when they're taken badly

I’m very, very sorry that you took my words badly.
Would that I could fix that. It’s very frustrating.

On Thursday, June 23, 2022 at 6:18:20 AM UTC-4, NancyGene wrote:
> On Thursday, June 23, 2022 at 9:21:24 AM UTC, Will Dockery wrote:
>
> > I'll grant you, it does fizzle out some near me end.
> >
> Most things would die if they were near your rear end.
>
> That said, why didn't you make that comment in the first place, instead of seconding that it was excellent? It isn't excellent and needs work. Did you read the poem?

Because George was making a joke, it was a parody of a well known Usenet poet.

HTH and HAND.

On Thursday, June 23, 2022 at 7:53:12 AM UTC-4, HC wrote:
> On Thursday, June 23, 2022 at 7:49:23 AM UTC-4, Ash Wurthing wrote:
> > On Thursday, June 23, 2022 at 7:39:16 AM UTC-4, HC wrote:
> > > On Thursday, June 23, 2022 at 7:19:59 AM UTC-4, Ash Wurthing wrote:
> > > > On Thursday, June 23, 2022 at 6:54:41 AM UTC-4, HC wrote:
> > > > > On Thursday, June 23, 2022 at 6:18:20 AM UTC-4, NancyGene wrote:
> > > > > > On Thursday, June 23, 2022 at 9:21:24 AM UTC, Will Dockery wrote:
> > > > > >
> > > > > > > I'll grant you, it does fizzle out some near me end.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > Most things would die if they were near your rear end.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > That said, why didn't you make that comment in the first place, instead of seconding that it was excellent? It isn't excellent and needs work. Did you read the poem?
> > > > > He didn’t say die. He specifically said “fizzle out”. Pay attention. Words matter.
> > > > Why don't you pay attention to what they said, they didn't say that OP said "die", "die" was directed at OP-- as you say, words matter...
> > > Yes, I know. I did. I was trying to make an alternative point. Excuse me. My bad, again.
> > as they say, it happens
> > as does grouchy, words can matter especially when they're taken badly
> I’m very, very sorry that you took my words badly.
> Would that I could fix that. It’s very frustrating.

Don't worry, it wasn't here. I snapped at you and got my annoyance done with. I've already moved on to another target.