Oh well, we were getting to the point where DnD is not only a lifestyle
choice, but also part of a good date night (at least according to this
writer)

Source:
https://www.gamesradar.com/tabletop-gaming/my-dandd-date-night-turned-out-to-be-the-cutest-most-chaotic-idea-and-you-need-to-try-it-too/

My D&D date night turned out to be the cutest, most chaotic idea and you
need to try it too
Features
By Abigail Shannon
published April 26th 2024

A party of one is its own kind of fun

If you have a hot date planned, you’ll likely want something for you and
your sweetheart to do other than gazing longingly into each other’s
eyes. Sure, you could fall back on the classics: maybe hit some rounds
of mini golf, watch a rom-com, or enjoy a co-op video game. These are
valid choices, I suppose … but what if you played D&D instead?

You only need to look at the raucous popularity of Baldur's Gate 3 or
the prevailing D&D tradition of down-bad bards to see that RPGs are a
great place to explore matters of the heart. As a genre centered on
character progression and storytelling, it feels natural that romance
would factor in somewhere. Yet I can’t help noticing the mysterious
absence of the best tabletop RPGs in people’s love lives.

My D&D date night was something of an accident. In preparation for a
larger, five-player campaign we were both to take part in, my partner of
seven years turned to me one evening and suggested we get some practice
in. They were feeling a tad shy about hopping into their first TTRPG
campaign, so they swung the idea of a sort of ‘test run’. Due to his
lack of experience and my desire to sow the seeds of chaos, I decided he
was obviously the perfect candidate for GMing our session.

So, after he got through some frantic reading of The Dungeon’s Master’s
Guide, we lit some candles, put on an atmospheric soundtrack, and popped
up the DM screen. The evening wound up being some of the most fun we’d
had in a while, and an experience that taught me some pretty valuable
lessons about what it’s like to play a D&D session during a date.
Detect Thoughts

You can learn a whole lot about someone through how they approach
TTRPGs. Oftentimes, a player’s character sheet is a reflection of how
they think of themselves or the kinds of things they value. I’ll admit,
I’m a bit of a hypocrite: I scoff at the idea of people judging romantic
compatibility based on star signs but I 100% make assumptions about
people based on what class they play.

Ultimately though, it’s more about what you do than what you are. No
matter what side of the DM screen you’re on, you can gain a real insight
into your fellow player’s humor, problem-solving skills, and how willing
they are to think outside the box. For example, my partner is fiercely
empathetic, so he took extra care to pad out the motivations of even the
most inconsequential of NPCs. Not only did this stave me off a total
murderhobo route, it reminded me of one of the reasons I fell in love
with him.

In my experience, D&D is great for deepening bonds and creating memories
with someone you’re in an established relationship with. However,
there’s also something really special about adventuring in a budding
relationship or even on a first date. Besides, if the vulnerability that
comes with improvising dialogue and putting on crap character voices
doesn’t break the ice, nothing will.
Charm Monster

Those old-school stereotypes about D&D players having no friends never
really made sense. TTRPGs are an incredibly social hobby. In fact, the
format of the game necessitates it. I strongly recommend that anytime
you play D&D you do it with players you’re friends with.

However, I can’t understate how valuable it is specifically to have a DM
that likes you. D&D has nothing on the tense politics of social
deduction board games but there’s still plenty of negotiation to be
done. There’s a reason the DM hides their dice roll after all. If the DM
has a particular narrative in mind, those dice fall by the wayside. So,
if your partner really loves you, they might not kill off your character
… or at least they’ll consider it.
Scrying

Remember when I said TTRPGs necessitate you being social? That’s pretty
fun, right? It totally is – at least until it comes to managing the
headache of coordinating schedules with your fellow players. In-game,
your characters may be full-time sell-swords but back in the real world
your Cleric has kids, your Bard works night shifts, and your Fighter is
training for a marathon. Gods damn it, it’s like your calendars never
want to line up.

What if all you needed to dive into your next TTRPG adventure was the
person you wake up next to every morning? If you live with your partner,
you could basically find an excuse to play D&D together as often as
possible. It also makes a great excuse to procrastinate running errands.

Spare the Dying

If I’ve happened to have convinced you already, it’s time for a word of
warning. Provided your current relationship status isn’t ‘part of the
world’s nerdiest polycule’, you’re going to find yourself lacking in the
area of party composition. I sure did. Where full parties would have a
healthy mix of tank, support, utility, and DPS characters, I was just
one humble adventurer. Some classes are more well-rounded than others so
that’s something to consider when rolling up your character.

Not to mention, the majority of pre-written campaigns won’t be built
with solo adventurers in mind. As romantic as the prospect is, not every
D&D dater is going to be looking to craft an entire homebrew adventure
for them and their beloved to enjoy. If you’re opting to play through
one of the best D&D books, you’re going to have to downsize the scale of
the encounters to better fit your one-man party. Alternatively, there is
a series of 3.5 and 5E-compatible adventure modules called Date Night
Dungeon, that are specifically created with couples in mind.

Though the real problem is it’s hard to go back to standard date night
fare. My partner and I are due to go out for dinner on the weekend and
I’m fighting the urge to bring my dice bag and campaign notebook. Maybe
we should stay in and play D&D instead.

Author:
Abigail Shannon
Tabletop & Merch Writer

Abigail is a Tabletop & Merch writer at Gamesradar+. She carries at
least one Magic: The Gathering deck in her backpack at all times and
always spends far too long writing her D&D character backstory. She’s a
lover of all things cute, creepy, and creepy-cute.

--
microblog: https://dice.camp/@kyonshi
macroblog: https://gmkeros.wordpress.com
pictures: https://portfolio.pixelfed.de/kyonshi

On 4/27/2024 1:10 PM, Kyonshi wrote:
> Oh well, we were getting to the point where DnD is not only a lifestyle
> choice, but also part of a good date night (at least according to this
> writer)
>
>
> Source:
> https://www.gamesradar.com/tabletop-gaming/my-dandd-date-night-turned-out-to-be-the-cutest-most-chaotic-idea-and-you-need-to-try-it-too/
>
> My D&D date night turned out to be the cutest, most chaotic idea and you
> need to try it too
> Features
> By Abigail Shannon
> published April 26th 2024

Unfortunately female gamers were very few and far between when I was in
the dating age. I did date one for about a year or so when I was about
20. She was more into M:TG & SCA though, I was young, stupid and
inexperienced, and she had her own issues so it didn't last.

There were a good number of female V:TM players at the time, but the
game & players always seemed like they were way too into it, pretending
to be vampires IRL, and my 'crazy' spidey senses went off, which were
usually pretty good.

My wife isn't really into gaming, though she plays some mobile word
games and puzzle games rarely. We're a good match anyway.

--
-Justisaur

ø-ø
(\_/)\
`-'\ `--.___,
¶¬'\( ,_.-'
\\
^'

On 4/29/2024 4:54 PM, Justisaur wrote:
> On 4/27/2024 1:10 PM, Kyonshi wrote:
>> Oh well, we were getting to the point where DnD is not only a
>> lifestyle choice, but also part of a good date night (at least
>> according to this writer)
>>
>>
>> Source:
>> https://www.gamesradar.com/tabletop-gaming/my-dandd-date-night-turned-out-to-be-the-cutest-most-chaotic-idea-and-you-need-to-try-it-too/
>>
>> My D&D date night turned out to be the cutest, most chaotic idea and
>> you need to try it too
>> Features
>> By Abigail Shannon
>> published April 26th 2024
>
> Unfortunately female gamers were very few and far between when I was in
> the dating age.  I did date one for about a year or so when I was about
> 20.  She was more into M:TG & SCA though, I was young, stupid and
> inexperienced, and she had her own issues so it didn't last.
>
> There were a good number of female V:TM players at the time, but the
> game & players always seemed like they were way too into it, pretending
> to be vampires IRL, and my 'crazy' spidey senses went off, which were
> usually pretty good.
>
> My wife isn't really into gaming, though she plays some mobile word
> games and puzzle games rarely. We're a good match anyway.
>

I do get my wife to do gaming with me, nowadays a bit less because
someone needs to watch over the kids somehow. Oh, and well, she has her
own nerd stuff to do so roleplaying isn't her first priority.
At least last weekend she managed to take part in my usual Shadowrun
game, because all the players were in our city for once and the kids
were at their grandparents.
Still, I don't think making it a date night as such is such a good idea.
It's a great way to socialize as a couple, because hey, at least it
gives adults the reason to meet other adults (maybe even regularly), but
getting actual dating involved sounds like a mess.

My experience with female gamers is much better, but I do live in Europe
and in general the male/female ratio here seemed to approach even much
more than it used to do in America. Nearly all the groups I played with
had female members, and in a lot of cases they were some of the most
involved in the hobby. But it's also true that some of that blends into
the whole larping scene as well which has a distinctly different flavor
here than it does in NA.
But well, by now I think a lot of this has become much more mainstream.